“As the stories I’ve built around myself start to dissolve I am realizing that I don’t have anything to defend. That the only thing keeping me from being of service to the world is me!”
You will die. You dwell in between states of cognitively knowing this and dissociating from the fact. Both psychologists and Buddhists agree that all fears ultimately root in the fear of annihilation; by this, I mean ego death.
When you keep present that you will die, some things lose their importance, or their urgency. It makes you wonder, what really matters? You’ll find what really matters is being of service. Being of service can look as simple as being kind to others while working, or taking a leading role in a cause that is important to you.
“Since death is certain and the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing?”
Pema Chodrön
Increasingly, as I become more aware of this realization, I feel more and more empowered. As the stories I’ve built around myself start to dissolve I am realizing that I don’t have anything to defend. That the only thing keeping me from being of service to the world is me! Fear of being looked some way, fear of not being enough, fear of the world challenging the stories I’ve so carefully crafted to get a sense of value.
I will die, and the stories my ego created will dissolve, but the love I’ve spread will forever circulate.
When you watch your imposter syndrome emerge, the invitation is to accept it, and be curious about it. What can I learn from it? What story about myself am I protecting?
The gift of these questions is that they open the door for a more fluid identity, a malleable sense of self that needs no defending, no validation, and no walls. You are just doing to best to selflessly be of service, to make the world a better place. Whoever judges your efforts, is ultimately judging themselves.